Pink Wink

I read Michelle Wards blog tonight and was greatly moved. Life is short and precious...if you have it in you, go read her post today. I am going to send her a Pink Wink...will you? Every action has a reaction...

Starting over and declaring my intentions....

At the beginning of this year, I put out a list of goals, wants, etc, that I wanted. Well I have exceeded many of those goals much to my delight! Some things have changed due to circumstances beyond my control, but I have adjusted and I am now looking at new wants and needs. Have you ever sat down and really asked yourself what you want? When I was getting divorced from my first husband, I made a list of what I wanted in a man. My future partner. Here was some of my list.

1. He had to have been married before so that he knows what marriage is like and can compromise.

2. He should have no kids from a previous marriage. LOL…I didn’t want to deal with child support issues. I had my own to deal with.

3. He should be stable.

I can’t remember much more than that, as they were not as important to me as those were at the time. Well…I got those things. As I was lying in bed last night, I realized that my needs have changed. I suppose that it is me that has changed, and not so much my husband. When we met, I was the party girl. I enjoyed what he did. But over the years, that life had less appeal and I think that is what caused our drift.

So…what does this have to do with a list of goals or wants? Well when you declare your intentions, it makes you pay attention to those things and when opportunities arise, you are there, willing, able and wanting… So here is my list of what I want in a future partner.

1. He must like Chinese Food! LOL…I never get to go to my favorite restaurant with my partner!

2. I want a best friend first. Someone who I can tell everything too. Who will love me despite all my weird quirks.

3. Someone who is not afraid to make a fool of himself and be able to laugh at himself and who will dress up for Halloween with me as that is my favorite time of year!

4. Someone who will show me he loves me instead of just saying it.

5. Someone who wants to travel, explore new places. Some one who will run around Disneyland with me, holding my hand and acting like kids again.

6. Someone with a sense of humor, that can make me laugh.

7. Someone, who when I have a problem, no matter how small they think it is, will be there…and just wrap his arms around me and tell me it will be ok.

So there it is… I have put it out in the universe, and I will be paying attention to the opportunities that arise. Months from now, when I come back and read this, we shall see what the outcome is.

Oh...and he should be ok with going to company functions and playing the political game of socializing with me for my career... LOL... I know... I know...I could go on and on...

Everything happens for a reason...

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? I do. I believe there is a lesson in everything that happens to us. I believe that there are opportunities out there, that we will only notice if we pay attention. We can believe that they are bad things happening to us, but when that happens...other doors open and we need to pay attention to them. My life for the past few months has been a roller coaster of emotion. With as many highs as there are lows. But at this minute...I am going to focus on the highs. Yesterday, I was informed that my teaching proposal was ACCEPTED!!!!
I will be teaching how to make my flowers. I can't say where yet, as I do not know the rules or protocol on this, but I will say it is at a well known event! I am just giddy with happiness over all this. Little did I know when I started this blog that I would be moving so fast on my path that I chose. I go back and read my blog every once in awhile to see how far I have come. It has been an exciting ride and I am sure it will only get better. Here is my advice for anyone who will listen. Life is short people....go after what you want. Take the risks and lay it out on the line. What is the worst that can happen? They say no? Maybe that is the door to something greater....pay attention....

Doing a Jig!

Besides being in Belle Armoire in November, I just got notified that my submission to Belle Armoire Jewelry was accepted and I will be in the December 1st issue!!!! Yea! I am on a roll!!!!!

And now...back to the show...

After a brief intermission of my crazy life, sponsored by my soon to be ex, we now return to Figments of Cindy's Imagination. :) When we last checked in with Cindy she was doing her first show of the year:

Today was another good day. It was long...but good. So here is my set up. Not exactly what I had wanted as I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to work on my stuff prior to the show.

Here is part of Jen's display. She really did a good job of getting ready for this thing. I am proud of her!

And she picked up these beautiful roses to place on our tables.
Isn't it beautiful? We haven't made a killing at this show but it has been a real learning experience. I will be alot more prepared for Art Unraveled. Although my set up for that show is totally different. We have made lots of connections at this show. I am even thinking about teaching a local class as a bunch of people have asked me to at this show. I have run into old friends, who I used to work with and I have made a bunch of new friends. And of course, there is always Jen. She is so much fun to be with. I don't know what I would do without her!

Music & Life

Isn't it funny how music can speak for you? Here is a song I have been playing in my car over and over! LOL Here are the basic lyrics. It's by Ashanti. Foolish Remix:

See my days are cool without you. But I'm hurting while I'm with you.
And though my heart can't take no more, I can't keep running back to you.
See my days are cool without you. But I'm hurting while I'm with you.
And though my heart can't take no more, I won't keep running back to you.
I think I found my strength to finally get up and leave.
No more broken heart for me. No more telling your lies to me.
I'm looking' like I got my head on right so now I see.
No more giving you everything. There's no more taking my love from me.
Glad to wake up every day without you on my brain.
No more waiting late up at night. No more having to fuss and fight.
I'm proud to say that I will never make the same mistake.
No more thinking about what you do. There's no more of me running back to you.

Thursday night was my hardest night. But, in that darkness, in his cold emotion and giving me no hope, I woke up Friday morning with a whole different feeling. A feeling of freedom. A feeling of I can do this and I will move on. And so....Friday was such a fantastic day! Jen and I did our craft fair. It wasn't too busy, but I sold a couple of necklaces. A person came by and said she was next to an "Art Celebrity" cause of my Belle Armoire publishing. LOL...It was cute. I had a about 3 people say that I should teach a class. It was all very flattering. Then I talked with an old friend that I just reconnected with after 20 years. I talked on the phone with him for 2 hours almost! It's funny, but even after that much time has past and all the things that we each have been though, when we talked, it was like nothing had changed. He still can make me laugh, still gives me crap. It's nice to have a friend who knows the real me...the me I used to be before I got married. The wild crazy me that I lost. Not many people bring that out in me. Jen would be another one who brings that out in me. So after the show, I went to PF Chang's with Jen and her husband and we had a wonderful dinner. It was nice to have good conservation and good company. I didn't get home till 9pm.

Thanks again to everyone who sends me emails and offers support. I struggled with if I should post with what is going on with my life, but in the end...I think it's good that I do. This is my online journal. I occasionally go back and read my own posts, so I know how far I have come. It also gives my sisters & family a chance to keep up with my life! I would love to be able to do the same. (Hint Hint). LOL They will know what I mean.

I will be posting pictures of our table set up tonight, after I get home again from the crafters market. If you have read this far bless, you...LOL. I promise...pictures tonight!

So...to all who read my blog...This is me. This is who I am. I am on another journey...to find myself again...

Jen & Cindy-The Broadway Show

Cast of Characters:

Cindy Dean-Smart, Talented, Middle Aged soon to be divorcee, Boss and Friend to Jen

Jen Gabaldon-Almost 30 year old, smart ass youngster, who couldn’t find her way out of a paper bag, but the best employee Cindy, has had in forever.

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

Cindy is riding with Jennifer running errands during their lunch break. They pull up to the drive through of Raising Cane’s Chicken, where they only serve chicken fingers. Jen pulls up to the drive thru window, rolls down her car window and orders their meals. As she pulls to the second window, she reaches over and turns off the air conditioner.

CINDY: What are you doing?

JEN: The window is open so I turned off the air.

CINDY: God you’re so cheap! It’s 110 outside. It’s HOT! I am buying you lunch so you can spare the gas to keep the air on!

Jen reaches over and turns the air back on full blast and rolls up her window.

JEN: There! You happy now???

CINDY: You’re such a jerk!

They both start laughing at each other…

SCENE TWO

Driving back to work, they continue to talk and laugh.

CINDY: I think that we should sign up for the amazing race! (Laughing) We would make one heck of a team and be some major characters.

JEN: What’s the Amazing Race?

CINDY: Oh…COME ON!!! (Laughing) I will show you when we get back to the office but it’s a reality show where they race around the world and try and win the money.

JEN: Money? I’m in. (Laughing)



ACT TWO

SCENE ONE

Cindy is in her office with Jennifer standing behind her and they are watching a snippet from the Amazing Race.

JEN: That looks fun.

CINDY: I think we would have a blast! We would have to get in shape though.

Jen walks back to her office. From across the hall Jen starts to talk to Cindy again.

JEN: You couldn’t be on the amazing race because you would be too HOT and I would have to run around with a little fan to make sure the queen was comfortable. (Laughing)

CINDY: Jerk! Well you wouldn’t do to well either because I would have to be carrying around a whole backpack of hand sanitizer, and you can’t find your way out of a paper bag! (Laughing)

JEN: Jerk!

Cindy & Jen start laughing and continue on their day…

CURTAIN

Silence

I don’t really believe that silence is golden. I have had a number of people ask me if there is nothing I can do, because 18 years is a long time. I am not going to go into details, but I will say this:

I have been met with silence….and in that silence, I have heard all I need to hear.….it is deafening.

I truly appreciate everyone lending me their support. I will be posting more happy things from now on. I have the Show & Tell Crafters Market this weekend and have been busy getting ready for that. The next 6 weeks will be a whirlwind of activity which has turned out to be a blessing as it takes my mind off of things. Stay tuned cause I will be posting pics of my set up for the show. I am getting pretty good at making those flowers!

Excellent News!

I just got notified that one of my necklaces I just submitted will be in Belle Armoire! Yeah!

Thank you....

I just want to say thank you to everyone for all the support, kind words and wishes. I know I seem extra strong in my last post, but believe me, this is the hardest thing I have ever done. It takes all my will power not to pick up the phone and call. All my will power to stay strong on the path I am on. Last night, I made it minute, by minute, hour by hour. I kept saying to myself, ok…just don’t call till 7. Made it. Ok, don’t call till 8. Made it. Ok..Now don’t call till bed time. Ok…made it. Now it is tomorrow, and I feel stronger than yesterday. Today, when I read my email, there was this quote in my in box. I think it is appropriate.

“Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent.”-- Mignon McLaughlin

It came from this http://welcometherainmovie.com/?SRC=NETRAINMOVIE

New Beginning.....

Life brings changes everyday. It brings its ups, and its downs. Right now I am at a particular low point. My marriage has fallen apart. I guess I knew it was coming but tried to ignore the signs. I tried to believe that after 18 years of being with each other that it should count for something. I guess I was wrong. So I now find myself doing a lot of soul searching. Plans that were made now have to be changed and I have to take a different fork in the road. A detour if you will. My sister Lynn forwarded me an email from Scrap Girls News and told me to look at a certain portion of it. It had a little story of a puppy named Bean. This was on Saturday before my life fell apart. I read it yesterday and it had a life lesson that struck me as very fitting.

The life lesson? It is sometimes the case that good things come to an end and other good things have a beginning and, at times, the two good things simply cannot coexist and so one must let go of the first to gain the second.

Hence, I have had to say goodbye to the past, the husband who was my rock, who was the stable influence in my life, who taught me to be responsible and say hello to the future me. Of finding me again. I had lost a big part of myself during my marriage. I neglected me. So in order to find me, I have to let go of the past. I will be fine…I am strong. I am looking forward to getting to know me…Here’s to a “New Beginning” and the good things to come.

Another sneak peek...

I submitted 5 different things to Belle Armoire. So here is another peak. If they don't get picked I will post the whole picture later on. But for now...this is it!

On another note...my little sis was saying that she was needing another visit from Turkey.... and I know she looks at my blog everyday!Come on Sammy...doesn't the pool look inviting? It's calling your name! You can float in the pool and relax and look at the view Besides, I could use a sister visit. That includes all my sisters...oh and it would be good too if my brother came! I need some family loving! Another round of miniature golf anyone?

Personal Attacks

The owner of our company forwards email from the Winner's Circle Network. Today as I read this one, I thought it was very appropriate. We all struggle with self esteem issues at times so I thought I would pass it along.

Winner's Circle Network with Lou Tice - 7/17/08 - "Personal Attacks"

How do you respond to personal affronts or insults? If you have high
self-esteem, they probably don't bother you much, I'll tell you why.

Have you ever noticed that people with low self-esteem have a terrible time
with anything they perceive as an insult? You see, beneath their façade of
self-confidence, they're really not convinced of their own value or
competence. So whenever they believe that someone has insulted or rejected
them, they come unglued.

They fret and fume, they get angry, they spend a lot of time brooding about
it, and sometimes they even seek retaliation or revenge. But people with
high self-esteem just brush it off. For example, at the height of the U. S.
Civil War, President Lincoln and his secretary of war paid a visit to
General McClellan in the battle area to hear first-hand about how the war
was going.

As they were waiting for the general to arrive, McClellan came in, covered
in grime. He brushed by them, went upstairs, and eventually sent his maid to
tell them he was tired and had gone to bed. The secretary of war was aghast
and said to Lincoln, "Surely you're not going to let him get by with that.
Surely you will relieve him of his command."

Lincoln thought about it for a minute or two. Then he said, "No, I will not
relieve him. That man wins battles and I would hold his horse and clean his
shoes if it would hasten the end of this bloodshed by one hour." It's the
same for anyone who has high self-esteem. They are so secure that they can
easily be humble and nothing threatens their sense of purpose and
self-worth. Think about that next time you feel someone insults you.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
www.thepacificinstitute.com

Oh the tangled webs...

Blogland is a funny thing. You can make friends with people who are 100's and even 1000's of miles away, but there can also be meanness and cruelness out there too. I have seen recently a witch hunt against one artist, that just seems so overboard and unjustified. One person in particular, seemed to have a bitterness in their heart that has obviously been there for awhile. Jen even read their comment and said...oh that makes me not want to buy their book. Every artist will be copied or have someone use the same techniques as another. Unless the exact materials are used, then it isn't a copy as far as I am concerned. If I make a recipe using an old recipe but add a few different ingredients then it's a different recipe. Like my cherry necklace. Deryn Mentock made those leaves first and I used them in that piece, but that piece looks nothing like anything she has done. Am I stealing? I don't think so. I hope she doesn't think I am. That is why we take classes. To learn techniques. I recently submitted a proposal to teach the flowers that I make. I know, that if I teach that then someone is going to use it to make them and sell their craft. I made a conscious decision that I was ok with that. I am ready to move beyond the flowers onto something new. I will come up with something different and creative and me. That is what art is. You put a piece of yourself in it. And if you look around the world it is no different. You have the Camero and the Firebird. You have McDonald's and you have a Burger King. You have Best Buy and Circuit City. You have Nike and Reebok. Look in the grocery stores. Think brand name and the store brand. Why do people buy a Louis Vuitton (Jen) and not the bag at target that looks like it? It's all about the name. If you can get people interested in you, they will buy your art because they like you and something about it makes them feel connected to you in some way or speaks to them in some way. Just my 2 cents for today. And, I won't be buying any more of the bitter artists' books as I would be afraid I will get sued for using a technique that was in the book! Hmmmm Isn't that the point of selling books? To share your technique?

Sneak Peek

So here is a tiny peek at what I submitted to Belle Armoire. We shall see if it gets in.

And yes I know...one of my bead crimp covers is missing! Arrgggghhhhhh. I was in such a hurry to get these done and out and it was a last minute idea, that I didn't realize it had fallen off until I saw this picture!

So anyways, life is busy, busy, busy. Jen and I need to get it in gear to be ready for our show. It is coming up at lightening speed. Then Art Unraveled! I am looking very forward to that. Taking classes is always so much fun. Someone made a comment to me recently that it has been fun to watch me grow as an artist and that I seem to be finding my direction. But I am still unsure...I do love painting and paper and really want to do more of that. Can't I just do it all??? LOL Do you have to be limited to "just" a jewelry artist or "just" a painter? But I do have to get rid of some of my stash of beads! LOL...hence the shows that are coming up. If you are out and about, come stop by and see me. I would love to meet some of my blog commenter's! I must be off to create...Jen are you busy??????????

Megan & Steven

Proud mommy showing off her beautiful kids.

The Queen Surveying Her Land

Naked Post

That's what it feels like when I don't have pictures to post. It feels empty and naked. Does anyone else feel like that? I have so many projects in the works but none of them are finished. This weekend will be a flurry of creating but, I will not be able to share most of what I create as it is for my submission to Belle Armoire. This morning I had the most brilliant idea and I scrapped my plans for my previous idea and I am going full steam ahead with this one. I hope that someone else thinks it was brilliant! LOL If they do you will be able to see it in the Winter issue.

ConvenZione 2008

One of the exciting things I am doing this summer is going to the ConvenZione in August. I get to meet all kinds of new and exciting people like Michele Beschen of DIY's Be Original. If you haven't checked it out, there are a ton of great classes to take. I am taking Lisa Kaus' Gridlocked class. I also get to be a vendor which is pretty exciting and I was also accepted into the Gallery Show they are having. So if you are looking for some fun times in August, come and join the fun. You can click on the picture of Michele to take you to the ConvenZione registration!

Cherries Jubilee

That's what I am calling this:
I think it's way cuter in person. I used the leaf idea of Deryn Mentock. I just think they are so cute. As I am looking at this picture though I think I need to make my cherry stems shorter. That will be a weekend chore though. I was supposed to be doing flowers tonight, but my daughter asked me to go swimming with her and that sounded like an invitation I couldn't pass up. My little fingers are waterlogged as I type this. The water in the pool was just perfect. Our neighbors on the back side of us must have a wasp colony, because they fly over the brick wall and drink from our pool. So Megan and I decided to do some population control. She took the pool net and caught them as they landed on the water and I smushed them! LOL We got 17 of them! There are just a few less wasps in the world now! We worked very well as a team. Maybe one day we should try out for the amazing race! We could kick some A _ _! LOL

Favorites so far

Of all the flowers I have made, I think my favorites are made with the stick pearls and the kyanite. They are so uneven and natural like.
I am on a flower making spree! I just made 5 more tonight. I figure I can make 5 a night for the next 19 days and I will be good to go! Of course on weekends I could make more but I like to try and use my weekends for other jewelry as it takes so much longer to come up with the idea and then put it together. It ought to be an interesting next 8 weeks! Lets see how long I last! LOL. Come on Jen....you gotta keep up with me! LOL

Busy as a bee...

This weekend I did alot of creating. I have a few pieces finished and quite a few in process. I find it so much more productive for me to do multiple pieces at once. If I can't finish something and it is frustrating me, I will put it aside and work on something else and come back to that piece. Here are a few of my creations. Awhile back, Jen and I went to the antique watch and jewelry show and I found these little bee hive earrings. I got rid of the other stuff on it and kept the little hives. I remembered that I had these little bees and here is the result. The stones are Fire Opals. I think they are cute. Next is my Sea Fare necklace.

I etched the clam into Nickel, used pearls, moonstones and sterling silver. I actually got the liver of sulphur to work this time! Yea! I also used the little vintage flower that I had laying around.

Then I did a Nest Bracelet. I am not quite finished with it, but I took the pictures anyways.

It is the same image I used for the earlier necklace I did. I love these stick pearls and thought they would look cute with the etching. Lets see, what else is in the works. I have my cherry necklace, my heart book necklace, another nest necklace, but this one is totally different. I used a vintage optical lens. And of course, more flowers. I only have 2 1/2 weeks to get ready so it's busy busy busy time! I will be posting more of my creations as they are complete. Come on Jen...you'd better get busy!

Score!

Yesterday, Jen dragged me to the antique shop down the street. We found all kinds of cool stuff. Here is my loot.We found old wooden cigar boxes. Only 5 bucks each. We will use those for our display at our upcoming show. I found a whole bag of these spoons for 10 bucks! I have all kinds of ideas on how to use these. My favorite ones are the tiny salt spoons. I have a special idea for them but you will have to stay tuned to see the results.
I found this little top to a salt shaker. Isn't it cute? And the old wooden ruler...that is for my class with Lisa Kaus called gridlocked that I am taking in August at the Zne Convenzione. I will also be a vendor there, so that will be one busy trip! So I must be off to go create. Only 3 weeks until our Show & Tell Crafters Market. It is going to be fun and a learning experience.

New Find

Tonight, or this morning, as I couldn't sleep, I went looking through Etsy. I found the cutest earrings and had to buy them.
Go and check out this little shop called Star of the East She is located in Turkey, which of course I have a great affection for as my sister lives there and I had the time of my life on a blue cruise there. I also bought one more pair of earrings but I can't show them as they are a gift for someone.