Friday, July 18, 2008

Personal Attacks

The owner of our company forwards email from the Winner's Circle Network. Today as I read this one, I thought it was very appropriate. We all struggle with self esteem issues at times so I thought I would pass it along.

Winner's Circle Network with Lou Tice - 7/17/08 - "Personal Attacks"

How do you respond to personal affronts or insults? If you have high
self-esteem, they probably don't bother you much, I'll tell you why.

Have you ever noticed that people with low self-esteem have a terrible time
with anything they perceive as an insult? You see, beneath their fa├žade of
self-confidence, they're really not convinced of their own value or
competence. So whenever they believe that someone has insulted or rejected
them, they come unglued.

They fret and fume, they get angry, they spend a lot of time brooding about
it, and sometimes they even seek retaliation or revenge. But people with
high self-esteem just brush it off. For example, at the height of the U. S.
Civil War, President Lincoln and his secretary of war paid a visit to
General McClellan in the battle area to hear first-hand about how the war
was going.

As they were waiting for the general to arrive, McClellan came in, covered
in grime. He brushed by them, went upstairs, and eventually sent his maid to
tell them he was tired and had gone to bed. The secretary of war was aghast
and said to Lincoln, "Surely you're not going to let him get by with that.
Surely you will relieve him of his command."

Lincoln thought about it for a minute or two. Then he said, "No, I will not
relieve him. That man wins battles and I would hold his horse and clean his
shoes if it would hasten the end of this bloodshed by one hour." It's the
same for anyone who has high self-esteem. They are so secure that they can
easily be humble and nothing threatens their sense of purpose and
self-worth. Think about that next time you feel someone insults you.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
www.thepacificinstitute.com

3 comments:

Elise B. said...

yes, this is all true.

it something we all would benefit from having awareness of in our daily lives.

even if one does not have a reaction to a personal attack and is perfectly capable and truly able to shrug it right off (i only personally know a handful of people that are truly capable of doing so...the vast majority of us do have low self esteem unfortunately), we still have a right and a responsibility to find a way to confront others' bad and inappropriate behavior...we do not live in a vacuum... we all have feelings and needs and opinions that come from our personal experience and our traumas as well and to live in society means being willing to stand alone sometimes if doing otherwise would require self-betrayal and the tolerance of unacceptable behavior and beliefs.

it also is good if we can distinguish between what is an outright attack or simply someone having their feelings and being willing to share them openly...we do not control others' reactions to our feelings and it is good to remember that we usually react from our own personal experience and it has little to do with what we perceived as a personal attack.

and i'd like to learn to have enough of myself to be able to be with other'ss feelings and reactions and give space to that...all too often i fall down, react, pick myself up again and learn a little more each time.

HappyDayArt! said...

Here, here Cindy! I heard you and I think you are AWESOME!!!

Catherine

Deryn Mentock said...

Wow. Just one comment...feelings are NEVER a good thing to base reactions on. Just because we feel something doesn't mean it should be emoted. Great post Cindy. I'm a huge Lincoln fan anyway!