Friday, November 30, 2007

It's Raining and today was an eye opening day. #146

As I sat here reading comments on my last post, I felt a need to answer something Rella asked. In reading your post I wondered how did it feel for you to be among so many cynics in one room :)...at the end did you feel it was a powerful talk? Will it help your leadership skills? And the answer is...yes to both. I reminded me that in some sense I had started to become like all of them. I was reminded of the person I used to be and I have vowed to find her again. Not that I have become a mean ogre because if you ask most of my employees, they will say that I am fair, that I will go to bat for them, even if it means I catch heat for it. But I am talking about the leader Cindy. The person who was "enthusiastic". The person who would gather people for events, like Halloween and Christmas and get everyone to dress up and join together. Such as the picture that follows. Megan is the Cindy Lou Who, so this was awhile ago.But over the years, because of "politics" at work, I decided to take more of a "back seat" role and I have tried not to "shine" too much and face the jealousy and sarcasm that was coming my way. By the time I left my job in 2005 to move to Kentucky, I was beaten down, worn out and just plain old disgruntled. But when we moved back here, I still wanted to work for this company. It just happens that I was blessed enough to be moved over to the sister company. But I have still "laid low" per say to not make waves. But in doing so, I have lost a big piece of me. I have lost the "fun" Cindy. The "competitive" Cindy, the "leader" Cindy. So, today is where it starts. Today is where I take the higher road and ignore the naysayers and negative Nelly's and just be me. Today is the day when I start to answer the question "Who does she think she is?" with, I am Cindy. Because, in the end, I will come out on top. In the end, I want to know that I have made a difference.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

145 Posts and a Give away on the 150th!

I pass my 100th post with no fan fair, so I decided to do it up right for my 150th instead. I will be doing a give away, prize, whatever you little heart desires to call it in honer of my 150th post. So, between now and the next 4 posts, leave me a comment and I will put your name into the drawing. It will be some kind of jewelry item, such as what I made Jen or Rella. So comment away!

Today was a day of seminars. For work, I am taking a leadership seminar, and then after that I had to go to another dinner meeting where we listened to someone speak. I just barely got home and my brain is fried. Good information though. I really like how these things make you think. In part of the seminar, the speaker asked, who was your trust role model and why. And the second question was who is in the hall of fame of breaking your trust. And when I started to think about this stuff, I realized that my life growing up was all about distrust. My father is the KING of lying and deceiving and my mother, was the QUEEN even though us girls never wanted to view her in that way. We wanted to believe that at least one of our parents cared about us more than they cared about themselves. Yet, in spite of this upbringing, I am one to give people the benefit of the doubt. To believe that they can do more be better. I am the optimist. As I sat in a room full of cynical people today, I wondered, who burned them so bad that they became so distrusting? Now don't get me wrong...when I give someone a chance and let them in, and the burn me, I am not the nicest person. You won't even see it coming, I can bring down the best of them. Burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice, shame on me. maybe I live with rose colored glasses most of the time, but I think that I prefer to believe that most people are good, than to be looking over my shoulder all the time to see who is out to get me. Are you the Optimist or the Pessimist?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

On a mission

At work, we are having a Christmas lunch for the accounting dept of all the companies. This year they are having us give them baby pictures of ourselves and I would assume that we are going to have some kind of guessing game! But for the life of me, I can't find one photo as a baby! I know somewhere in this house I have at least ONE picture of me younger that 4 or 5. I am rather cute at 4 to 5 but everyone would know it was me! I will leave you with this though. My sweet precious little Missy when she was a puppy. How can anybody resist this face???

Monday, November 26, 2007

Tired

Why is it that after 4 days of time off from work, where I didn't do much and got lots of rest, that the first day back to work is always so tiring? As we sat in our Monday morning meeting, I noticed, it wasn't just me...everyone seemed to take awhile to get back into the swing of things. Right now at work, it is crazy hectic. We just had the auditors here and we are finishing up with our build out and I am trying to plan for our open house party that is on the 5th. Nothing is finished! Little things here and there. My new office just got one of my walls filled in today! Now they have to tape it, texture it, and paint it. I have a layer of dust over everything because of the drywall they put up today and my closet door is the wrong size so i need that fixed before they can stain it. It took them 6 weeks to get the last door up! And I have to make sure the place looks picture perfect by next Wednesday! And I am going to a leadership seminar on Thursday and Friday so 2 less days to do things! I am SURE it will all come together! But it makes for a very tense time. I do like my new office. It is WAY bigger than what I had before. I have even done some decorating. As soon as my closet door is done I will take some pictures. (Ummm...sandy...it would be a shame if I get my pics up before you do!) That was just a note for my little sister who purchased a camera while she was here visiting. Seems she hasn't even used it YET! LOL Hint, hint.

No art today...I just bummed when I got home. Watched TV and relaxed. I do have ideas bouncing in my head, but I need to clear my work space again to be able to work.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Art for feelings

As I was writing an email to an artist I admire greatly, I had an epiphany of sorts. I was telling her that when I buy a piece of art or take a class, it is about how that piece or class makes me feel. And I came to the realization, that I have been trying to create things that I think OTHER people would like. And in doing so, I am selling out on my uniqueness and creativity and that is why stuff just doesn't flow from me. Take for example, the necklace in the previous post. Even though I was making it for me (I needed more red in my life! LOL...my sister's will understand) I was going to put a rose in the focal piece because I thought it would appeal to more people. Who cares if it appeals to more people! It's for me right???? And if it wasn't...I should do what I like because that is who I am... That is part of the equation... I think that if one is an artist, you put a little piece of you in everything you make. So...heres to my uniqueness. I vow to not create something because I think "people" will like it. I will create it because I like it and it shows my personality. Needless to say...I did not finish my necklace today... I need to rework my focal piece.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Learning about wire

Today I played with steel wire and started on a necklace. My fingers hurt from all the twisting, and bending and hammering I have done today! It is no easy feat, this wire work! I am not done with this necklace yet, but it is a good start. I will try and finish it tomorrow when my fingers are less tender! But for now, here is a picture of my WIP (Work in Progress).
It has red pearls, steel wire, and peach color glass beads so far. I have a special focal piece I am working on so stay tuned.

Quiz

My little sister had a bunch of quizzes on her blog, so I decided to check them out this morning. I found this quiz and low and behold, what does it say I should be???

You Should Be an Artist

You are incredibly creative, spontaneous, and unique.
No one can guess what you're going to do next, but it's usually something amazing.
You can't deal with routine, rules, or structure. You're easily bored.
As long as you are able to innovate and break the rules, you are extremely successful.

You do best when you:

- Can work by yourself
- Can express your personality in your work

You would also be a good journalist or actor.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Bummed

So....I WAS going to go to the ArtNest in February, but a few things have happened, and now I cannot afford to go. :( First we had to take my hubby's motorcycle to the shop because it broke down. That cost us a few hundred and then...his laptop just died. The laptop that he uses to put tuning adjustments on his motorcycle! So....we just replaced that. So my art money went right out the door. With it being so close to Christmas, I just can't justify spending that kinda money on an Art trip for me. We are going to his mothers for the first time ever for Christmas, and I want him to have a wonderful time with his family. So, I sacrifice. It's more than worth it, because he has ALWAYS let me do what I want financially, so now it's his turn. But I can still be bummed yes?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Beautiful Rose

Here is a picture of the roses that are in my back yard. Despite the extremely harsh summer sun almost burning the plant this past summer, despite my lack of attention to any of the plants in the back yard and the fact I have a BLACK thumb, these flowers bloomed, and bloomed and bloomed recently. It amazes me how resilient they are. No matter what kind of abuse they endure, they still bloom. Isn't that how we all should be?

Monday, November 12, 2007

Beautiful Sunset

The other night as my husband and I were driving home from looking at the model of the house we want, I made him pull over to the side of the road so I could take this picture. It was the most breathtaking color. Most times, Las Vegas is a dull color palette, unless of course you are down on the strip. Everything is usually brown, tan, taupe, beige, buff, dust, khaki, cream, ecru, oatmeal, sand, camel, biscuit, nude, straw, auburn, sepia, toast and any other shade of brown you can thing of with an occasional patch of green thrown in there to try and make you forget you live in a desert. But once in awhile...we are graced with a beautiful nature color show. Is there any wonder why I love the colors red, yellow and orange??

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Intentions are funny things

So...I was supposed to create something as per my last post...and I had all the intentions of doing so. I even sketched some ideas on paper but that is as far as I got. That weekend, we decided to go looking at houses again. I wanted to make sure that the house that I have picked out was THE one. And what was the outcome? Yes...this is the house I want. The salesman tried to get me to take one of the inventory houses but, if I am going to be spending the next 20 years in this house, I want what I want. I am not going to settle. I want a lot that is big enough to have a pool. I want to live one Redbud Vine Street...LOL I know...I am odd. But it seems like destiny to have Red in the name of the street I live on. Red is my most favorite color. I didn't settle when I picked my new car. I wanted the 2008 Inferno Red Avenger with a sunroof and the MyGig system. When I called the car dealer, they said they didn't have any yet that had the MyGig system, but that I should come look anyways. So that afternoon, before I was about to go to the dealer, he called me and said, guess what I just got on the truck today. It was my car. I drove it off the lot that night. Life has a way of giving you what you focus on. So, with that said, I guess my focus has not been on art. I am looking to settle. To be attached to something, somewhere. This will be a first ever for me. I have never owned a house before. It is time....time to let go of the past. Time to free myself from all the baggage that has been taken from place to place and let it all go. I have started on my journey today. I am purging. Throwing out or giving away all the things I have hoarded for years. Hi my name is Cindy and I am a hoarder. It goes way back. Back to the days when I was a kid and we were continually forced to get rid of things whenever we moved, which was often. So when I went out on my own, I collected things. All kinds of things. It has been my security blanket all these years. Things, things everywhere...even to the detriment of my finances. It is hard to let go, but I do not want to bring all this stuff with me to a new house. I purposely choose a smaller house, because I don't NEED all this stuff. So today..I cleaned out my cupboards. I had so much food in there that I never used. I ended up throwing out 2 big bags full because it was all out of date! Best used by Feb 2004...etc. It was such a waste...and for years, I kept packing it and moving it because I just couldn't throw it out. I also clean out the drawers in my bathroom. I had medicine that expired in 1998! What have I been thinking. I am organizing everything at the same time so I feel like I am taking control of my life instead of it controlling me. Next I will be working on my closet. I get a pit in my stomach just thinking of it cause I know I have to get rid of things that I have never worn but spent good money on! But I have never worn them! I am donating these items so that someone in need will get them. I am only keeping things that have a purpose or have a great sentimental value. So...with that said...those are my intentions for the rest of this year. To clean out the clutter of my life and free my spirit so I can create great works of art. I am going to submit my works to Somerset Studio and with luck I will get published. 2008 will be a good year. I feel it. I know it. What are your intentions? Be honest with yourself....I finally am...even though I am scared to death of letting go.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Dragging myself out of my slump & declaring my intentions!

Ok...if I don't do something soon, I am going to fall into a deep dark hole of complacency! So...I am to committing to produce some kind of art this weekend. I figured I had to declare my dreams and intentions loudly and often otherwise I might not do it! So again...I will produce some kind of art this weekend! That was the often part. LOL My room is a mess again. I hate to work in a messy space because I have guilt about it not being clean and that I should clean it up BEFORE I start creating but if I did that I would never create!


On a happy note, I am going to go to the ArtNest again in February! I wasn't able to do ArtFest like I wanted but this more than makes up for that. And of course, Jen is going with me!


Arrrrggggggggggggggggggg. My son just came in and totally frustrated me. I sent him to PetsMart to buy dog food. I said for him to get a 20 lb bag and he brings home a 40 pounder! Do you think this:
little 11 pound dog will eat 40 pounds of dog food anything soon?????? But she was totally out of food so I am keeping the damn thing! Kids! LOL....sigh

Ok...where was I? Oh yes...back to art. I am thinking that I am going to paint. Yes paint. Maybe collage on it too. We shall see what mood strikes me. So...keep looking because I am declaring (often) that I will be posting my creation this weekend. Have a happy one.