Sunday, November 11, 2007
Intentions are funny things
So...I was supposed to create something as per my last post...and I had all the intentions of doing so. I even sketched some ideas on paper but that is as far as I got. That weekend, we decided to go looking at houses again. I wanted to make sure that the house that I have picked out was THE one. And what was the outcome? Yes...this is the house I want. The salesman tried to get me to take one of the inventory houses but, if I am going to be spending the next 20 years in this house, I want what I want. I am not going to settle. I want a lot that is big enough to have a pool. I want to live one Redbud Vine Street...LOL I know...I am odd. But it seems like destiny to have Red in the name of the street I live on. Red is my most favorite color. I didn't settle when I picked my new car. I wanted the 2008 Inferno Red Avenger with a sunroof and the MyGig system. When I called the car dealer, they said they didn't have any yet that had the MyGig system, but that I should come look anyways. So that afternoon, before I was about to go to the dealer, he called me and said, guess what I just got on the truck today. It was my car. I drove it off the lot that night. Life has a way of giving you what you focus on. So, with that said, I guess my focus has not been on art. I am looking to settle. To be attached to something, somewhere. This will be a first ever for me. I have never owned a house before. It is time....time to let go of the past. Time to free myself from all the baggage that has been taken from place to place and let it all go. I have started on my journey today. I am purging. Throwing out or giving away all the things I have hoarded for years. Hi my name is Cindy and I am a hoarder. It goes way back. Back to the days when I was a kid and we were continually forced to get rid of things whenever we moved, which was often. So when I went out on my own, I collected things. All kinds of things. It has been my security blanket all these years. Things, things everywhere...even to the detriment of my finances. It is hard to let go, but I do not want to bring all this stuff with me to a new house. I purposely choose a smaller house, because I don't NEED all this stuff. So today..I cleaned out my cupboards. I had so much food in there that I never used. I ended up throwing out 2 big bags full because it was all out of date! Best used by Feb 2004...etc. It was such a waste...and for years, I kept packing it and moving it because I just couldn't throw it out. I also clean out the drawers in my bathroom. I had medicine that expired in 1998! What have I been thinking. I am organizing everything at the same time so I feel like I am taking control of my life instead of it controlling me. Next I will be working on my closet. I get a pit in my stomach just thinking of it cause I know I have to get rid of things that I have never worn but spent good money on! But I have never worn them! I am donating these items so that someone in need will get them. I am only keeping things that have a purpose or have a great sentimental value. So...with that said...those are my intentions for the rest of this year. To clean out the clutter of my life and free my spirit so I can create great works of art. I am going to submit my works to Somerset Studio and with luck I will get published. 2008 will be a good year. I feel it. I know it. What are your intentions? Be honest with yourself....I finally am...even though I am scared to death of letting go.