Friday, November 30, 2007

It's Raining and today was an eye opening day. #146

As I sat here reading comments on my last post, I felt a need to answer something Rella asked. In reading your post I wondered how did it feel for you to be among so many cynics in one room :)...at the end did you feel it was a powerful talk? Will it help your leadership skills? And the answer is...yes to both. I reminded me that in some sense I had started to become like all of them. I was reminded of the person I used to be and I have vowed to find her again. Not that I have become a mean ogre because if you ask most of my employees, they will say that I am fair, that I will go to bat for them, even if it means I catch heat for it. But I am talking about the leader Cindy. The person who was "enthusiastic". The person who would gather people for events, like Halloween and Christmas and get everyone to dress up and join together. Such as the picture that follows. Megan is the Cindy Lou Who, so this was awhile ago.But over the years, because of "politics" at work, I decided to take more of a "back seat" role and I have tried not to "shine" too much and face the jealousy and sarcasm that was coming my way. By the time I left my job in 2005 to move to Kentucky, I was beaten down, worn out and just plain old disgruntled. But when we moved back here, I still wanted to work for this company. It just happens that I was blessed enough to be moved over to the sister company. But I have still "laid low" per say to not make waves. But in doing so, I have lost a big piece of me. I have lost the "fun" Cindy. The "competitive" Cindy, the "leader" Cindy. So, today is where it starts. Today is where I take the higher road and ignore the naysayers and negative Nelly's and just be me. Today is the day when I start to answer the question "Who does she think she is?" with, I am Cindy. Because, in the end, I will come out on top. In the end, I want to know that I have made a difference.

3 comments:

Jen Gabaldon said...

I agree, i will take that challenge with you. I am Jen

* mY fRiEnDs cALL mE Rella * said...

Well, darling girl, the stars must be aligned to be fostering "Back to Who I AM"....On Friday I also began the journey, telling only my sister. Making the decision to take back who I was. It gave me chills just to read your post. I send support and encouragement only a few miles away and join in the challenge. Let's end 2007 and bolt into 2008 with taking back our lives.

I WITH YOU...AND JEN. :)

I am Rella.

Shel said...

Count me in! I am proud of you and remember what you wrote when you "catch heat." No matter where you go or what you do in life, you will always have someone that wants to bring you down because you are doing what they can't or are afraid to do.

I am Rochelle.