Friday, December 19, 2008

Self Honesty

Last night during a conversation I was told that even 20 years ago, I have always been strong, independent and a risk taker. Every time I am told that I tend to shrug it off as if they didn't know what was really inside me, they didn't know the "real" me. But maybe they knew me better than I did. The other day, my ex had to go help his girlfriends daughter out of the snow. He ended up taking the truck, so Megan was with out a vehicle for a day. I was irritated. In being honest with myself, I was annoyed because he had to go play the "hero". Had to rescue the damsel in distress. And I guess in the end, that is why our marriage ended. Because I didn't "need" him. And that is what he "needs". And that brought me to my realization...my self honesty...and trust me...it's not an easy pill to swallow. Way back when....I "dumbed myself down" to get a man. There, I said it. I played the helpless female that I so despise these days. And in reflecting, I see how many problems it caused in our marriage. We always fought about my ambition, my drive to be better, to do more. But now...I don't have to do that anymore. I am free to be me. Who I really am. And if men or anyone else is afraid of that...then I don't need them. And if someone asks "Who does she think she is?" I will tell them...I am Cindy Dean! I am strong, proud, independent and a free spirit....take me as I am....

4 comments:

Shelly said...

Way to go! Don't ever let anyone try to keep you from achieving your dreams. At one point in our lives, I think we were all "THAT" woman. Being that person makes you look back with a sense of accomplishment at the woman you have become.

Kate said...

Cindy,

Good for you. I love this post and how you truly stand up for what you are.....

Kate

Sam I Am said...

I soooo admire strong, proud and independent women with free spirits :)
I hope i've raised one...and I hope I have some of those qualities inside me :)
Merry Christmas Cindy :)
hugs..
sandy

Kerri Jean said...

You go girl!!!!! The women in my family (and we are overwhelmingly female) are also very strong and independent. One of my male friends lamented recently that we're making them obsolete. I do think we're challenging them to find new roles for themselves too!!!