Monday, August 25, 2008

Regrets

Yesterday, when I was walking up the sidewalk with my daughter to her boyfriends house to meet his mother, there were drawings in chalk all the way up to the door. At that point she said to me… “I was never allowed to draw on our side walks on our driveway. Dad would have been so mad.” He didn’t want the chalk on the carpet of the house. I understand this, but nowadays, I would do things differently. If I could go back in time, I would let her draw to her hearts content. Then I would make sure I cleaned off her feet before she came in. My soon to be ex and I had many fights about letting the kids be kids when they were young. He would have a cow because they would touch the windows of the car. I would say…it’s only a car. Why are we all so obsessed with possessions. They are only things…the real things that matter are the memories that are made during a life time. There are many things I would change if I could go back and change them…like instead of having the “perfect” Christmas tree, I would let the kids help and it would be what it would be. Or letting the kids get their clothes dirty, or letting them play out in the rain. I wouldn’t have worked so much. But I can’t change the past, I can only work on today and what the future brings. I just know that I want to be remembered for the happiness I have brought to peoples lives.

4 comments:

Kelly Snelling_Soulhumming.typepad.com said...

i hope you will go out tomorrow and buy one of those Huge boxes of colored chalk. i always see the big ones with every color for not very much at target or the dollar stores. then i hope you will either draw pictures of you and your daughter (stick figures even) all over your sidewalk or else put a bow on the box and give it to her. then take an entire package of oreos outside and sit on the concrete together and draw. i think that it is never too late to live the life you wish you had. it is time to Live, cindy! :0)

abbymaya said...

Beautifully put Kelly! Cindy, your post is incredible poignant but such an important lesson for us all to live in the moment and live for those we love not the things in our life.

You're incredibly brave for sharing your journey and since you're already such an amazing person, I'm in awe thinking of how much stronger and happier you're going to be when you get past this ... speed bump, gaping pothole, bad road metaphor here... well, you get the idea, in your path. :)

Kerri Jean said...

Kelly's right. Get out there and draw. We'd love to see a picture of it -- I think we're all guilty of things like that -- my family are "clean a holics" and we are forever tidying things in the midst of enjoying them, when we should just be enjoying them!!! So start now. I am going to!!!

* mY fRiEnDs cALL mE Rella * said...

OMG....Kelly is so right! Wouldn't that just be a perfect mom and daughter time?!! It would be something she remembered for the rest of her life and would share with her own children someday. AND this memory would totally erase the one that the husband made. I love it!!

xo Rella