Thoughts for the day...

As I lay in bed this morning waiting for the alarm to go off...don't ask why I do that...I was thinking about my marriage. And I was thinking that it's only been 5 months since our split. Shouldn't I be feeling more than I am feeling about it? Shouldn't I feel sad? Shouldn't I feel regret for it's end? 18 years of togetherness...shouldn't it have been harder to dismiss the past from my life? If I don't feel all that...what does that mean? Was I just fooling myself all those years? When I think back and look for the good times together...the only ones that I remember the feeling of love for him are the ones before we got married. All the good times after the marriage involved the kids. I always thought I tried to make time for just us...but I guess it wasn't enough. Is that how it is? You have kids and then you forget about each other? I am thinking too much obviously...but that is how I get when I get in these moods...I over analyze. Then I start to think about my love now. How did I survive without it before? I tell him everything...probably more than he wants to hear...LOL. It feels like there was no 20 year gap. How did I survive all those years keeping all of myself in and not sharing...amazing differences. Night and Day.... I like how I feel now alot better....I feel like myself once again....

So today I am off on an adventure....stay tuned to see where I go...