Roller Coaster Day

Today was one of those roller coaster emotional days. This week has been especially hard. My mood swings go from up to down. I am struggling at work to find a balance of caring to much or not enough. As my boss sometimes says jokingly, "It's a mans world and you are just living in it." Sometimes I resent it, other times I just deal with it. I feel like I have too many hats to wear. As I said today in strategic planning when the facilitator needed something copied, they all looked at me, and being the only woman in the group assumed I was going to make them. So I grabbed the papers and said "Give it to Cindy, she'll do it, she does everything." as I walked out of the room. That set the tone for my mood in the meeting. As I was taking notes, again as the women folk must do, Bruce our facilitator asked if I was OK and was I getting this down. I gave him the evil eye of Cindy and all the guys started laughing and warning Bruce because they know when I am in that kind of mood to stay away and be very nice. LOL It did make me laugh, but it's just so frustrating to be on that kind of level but still be viewed as subservient. Arrggghhhhhh.

Then there are the bright spots in my day. It was a BEAUTIFUL day. See the temperature gage in my car? Only 84 degrees! There was a cold front that came thru and cooled the valley down. This is why I love Las Vegas. Days like these.
As I drive home every day, I get to see this big flag at the new Chevron station, waving in the wind. I love this flag. Especially when it was brand new. The colors were so bright and crisp against faded mountains and blue sky that surround the valley. The flag has been broken in by the winds of the last few days and now has frayed edges, but it is still a beautiful reminder of what a great country we live in. My heart fills with pride when I see it waving in the breeze. It also reminds me to pray for those that are fighting in the war, doing their selfless duty, while we enjoy our freedom here. That is when I start to feel grateful for the little things. Reading Nina Bagley's blog today made me pay attention to the things I normally don't notice. I do have some green in my life. Like my little patch of grass outside my front door.

Or the purple flowers that have started to bloom on the shrub that separates my yard from the neighbors driveway.

Or this one little lonely bloom from a flowering plant that has been trying to come out for weeks but seems stuck, like a chick hatching from it's egg. Not quite strong enough to push it's way thru.These are the things that make life just a little easier to bear.